5. Decide on if we should expand our family or bot

So a little background. My husband and I got married in September 2011. We found out we were pregnant with our first daughter in January 2012. After we gave birth to her we decided that we wanted another close in age. So 16 months later came Sadie. My husband always said he wanted two kids. Since I was a little girl I have dreamt of having four. So when it came down to it we decided on three as our compromise. We got pregnant with Emmy super quickly and were so excited. At the 12 week scan we got an abnormal result so we had to do extensive genetic blood tests and an echocardiogram. Luckily, everything turned out just fine. But we were also able to determine gender at 13 weeks pregnant. It was girl. Three girls. I loved the idea and have fully embraced it. My girls are my entire life. But since we decide three was it for us we scheduled a vasectomy. It took place on January 30, 2016. One week later, Emmy had arrived. Honestly, every moment since then I have wondered if we did the right thing with the vasectomy. Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I stumbled upon a board on baby center called “TTC after a vasectomy reversal”. I knew from the get-go that a reversal was possible but extremely costly. So I just looked through the board and started doing some research. Apparently there are clinics that just do reversals and they are much more cost effective.

I have talked to Cam about getting a reversal and he is on board. The thing is, now that it’s a possibility, and now that my kids are past the infant stage I don’t know if I want to start over. But then I think about it some more and I know I’m not ready to completely say no. I’ve been praying about this and about whether to have another baby or not. So I guess only time will tell what exactly we end up doing. I’ve also have been trying to determine if it’s pregnancy that I miss and want or if it is another baby I am longing for. If it’s just pregnancy I would definitely consider surrogancy. So if you’d pray for guidance for me, I’d love that. This is such a hard choice.