Waiting....

The hardest part about being in a relationship where one of them has to work out of town is probably doing everything alone. We are currently in the process of buying a house and it just really sucks having to figure everything out over the phone and/or trying to get documents that you as his future wife do not quite have access to because you are not married yet. Along the lines of having to do everything alone, include the small things. Such as: sleeping alone, waking up alone, eating dinner alone, watching tv alone, grocery shopping alone, and so on. Sometimes it extremely hard to deal with, and not complain about. However, at the end of the day he is doing whats best for the both of us and our family. Because he has this job he is able to take such wonderful care of me and our puppies and himself. He gives us things I could never imagine to have to this point in my life. I am truly blessed to have a wonderful Fiance who does everything he possibly could for us.

I am currently waiting at home for my man to get home, in the last two weeks I have only seen him once and that was for about 5.5 hours and we slept most of it and he was sick :( poor guy. I know it could be worse, though. I feel so guilty sometimes when I say how much I miss my man on facebook or complain because he is gone a week or too, when military spouses go months and years without seeing them. Not to mention, military spouses have to deal with the constant reminder that they are in a war zone and at any moment their entire world could be taken from them. On the other hand, I hate when girls my age go around crying about not being able to spend all day every day with their man. I mean come on girls, at least you can see them every day. I also hate when girls hate how their men have to work all day long and never have time for them. Do they not realize that they work all day to take care of them? Not to mention, I would give anything just to be able to crawl in bed with my man every night. Yes I would love to spend all day every day with him but I would be perfectly happy just being able to sleep in his arms every night. But I don't get to. It just really annoying to me when girls complain about that kinda stuff. So I am kinda stuck in the middle, I dont have it so bad. Yes, I have to spend weeks away from him at a time, but atleast I can talk to him daily and I know

he is safe. But, I also don't get the pleasure of spending every night in his arms. It's a touchy subject, and no noone is probably going to change their complain, hell I might now either, but that is just how I feel about it. LOL

Anyways, I feel like I should explain why I picked the name "Definitely, Maybe" as the title for my blog. This short, little phrase sums up my life pretty much. Nothing is every guarenteed. Someone may say definitely at one moment but it almost always turns into a maybe. This is very relavent with my life as a Fiance who has a Fiance traveling for work. Nothing is ever promised. He may say I will be home tomorrow at 2pm and two minutes later it will be,"Change of plans babe, were going to New Jersey for the next two weeks." This little scenerio, shows up from day to day. Two days ago we were closing on our house next Friday, June 24th and now as long as everything works out we are closing on Friday, July 8th. While, "Definitely, Maybe" seems like a hassle and scattered lifestyle, I sure have learned alot from is and still am learning. The biggest thing I've learned is nothing is ever promised. Another would be expect the worst and you'll get the best. Expecting the worst seems like a horrible thing to do, but then you have no expectations to meet which makes life that much more enjoyable. Patience; a concept I still have yet to master. At first, I had absolutely no patience what so ever. I am, I do what I want when I want kinda girl. When I want something I want it now. I am still learning that is not possible at all, and while others might disagree (cough, cough Cameron) I feel I have come along way :-P